What it means to be a man.


By: Alexandra Kinias

Based on my personal observations — that were neither supported by scientific research nor surveys’ labs, for which I guarantee that no animal testing has been performed in the process — I have noticed that an extra shot of testosterone is pumped into the brains of the male species in the Middle East whenever the issue of women rights is discussed. Magically, this testosteronal shot that flows on invisible waves transmitted by telepathy from one brain to the other results into an incomprehensible unity of thought with a purpose of discrediting the subject. Yesterday’s foes forget their disputes as they sharpen their teeth in anticipation of any statement that challenges their manhood.

My observation of this unified force brought to my attention that its tactics go through several stages.  First, men disagree over whatever the issue is, and thus build an offense to squeeze women into a defensive corner. Opposition, rejection and resistance by women infuriate them, escalate their offense and lead to a wider spectrum of juvenile behaviors that range from refutation, accusations and eventually culminate with a phase of sarcasm.

Even though this obscure sarcasm is found to be offensive and deplorable  it is the first sign of losing the battle. They reshuffle the cards to regain balance in their thought process, believing this would enable them to launch the final attack.

Against all predictions, this final attack is non violent, but rather laden with charm. When men lose battles because of intellectual incompetence to women, they end the discussion with flirtatious comments. This probably happens because the pump that had previously siphoned the testosterone to their brain had over worked and malfunctioned. The excess hormone fogs their brains and leads to incoherent rationalization that all sins are striked out with a smile or a compliment; yet demonstrating another way of women’s degradation.

It is hard to comprehend this perpetual attitude that exhausts so much effort simply to discredit a fact that only the blind don’t see. The denial of a problem that persists to exist is a sheer ego soothing to cope with the reality that women’s abuse is solely inflicted by man. Such  beliefs stir insecurities within the male species that at the exact moment that they will ease their controlling grip, women will fly away from their cages. There are no other justifications for sustaining such control over women.

The only plausible reason for their behavior may be that they were never born women in a male dominant society and were never subjected to the harassment and abuse their gender inflicts on women. There might have been an empathy from their side if they were groped in their sensitive parts in broad day light while policemen idly watched, exposed to profanity shot at them on their way to work, offered money in exchange for sexual favors as they walked by, hissed at like stray animals, denied the right to report sexual harassment to the police and accused for being responsible for their rape, subjected to images of men masturbating on the sidewalks, denied a job because of their gender, suffered from gentile mutilation, forced or pressured into marriages, ridiculed by the society for passing the marriage age, threatened with the idea that their spouse will remarry, battled for divorce and the same law that granted them one denied them of any compensation, or have their rights of traveling revoked by their spouse after a family dispute.

It is worth noting here that women dress and behavior have nothing to do with the fact that they are exposed to harassment. I have lived in multi cultural societies and the only places where I feel the least secure and regularly harassed are those where women are most covered.

Men’s pretense that women are living in paradise under their protection should no longer be accepted. It is very unlikely that men will ever admit that women are denied their rights. If they do they will be obliged to issue laws to punish the criminals instead of the victims who pay the price everyday for the sole crime of being born in the wrong place.

Women need to be reminded not to expect men to fight their battles because a right granted to women is one taken away from men. Women, never believe that men will support you. They are too insecure to do that. A peaceful co-existence will only prevail when men stop consuming their testosterone  levels  in a destructive way fighting women and truly view them as their equal peers.

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13 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized, Women's Rights

13 responses to “What it means to be a man.

  1. I love your starky sense of humor. And the photo on this post is perfect.

    The only thing that I disagree with is your concluding statement, that men should seek to protect women. I believe that this is the same logic that has been used to justify the burqua, as well as other oppressive laws that constrict women’s behavior. It was certainly used as a justification for denying women the right to vote in the US – women were “too pure,” and they would be “sullied” if they had to trudge to the polling place to cast a vote amongst men – nevermind the fact that they were living with the same brutes at home.

  2. Hi Serena,

    Thanks for reading it and leaving your comment.

    You’re absolutely correct. How can I argue that? Will take care of it :)))

  3. Elena

    I think that piece is an achievement,not a sort of natural state… so to achieve it, we need to have a struggle… I think that the strenght provided by the self-awareness and by the fight for own rights will bring to a new peaceful relationship between men and women, but, now, here and now, it’s really time to get up and let them listen to our voices!

  4. anonymous

    Starting from this sentence:
    “The only plausible reason…………………..”
    The article was very good. I really don’t know what point you were trying to make before that. Whether you intended to or not, the first couple of paragraphs reflect a horribly patronizing attitude towards Middle Eastern men and a significant amount of dislike. I am not from the ME, but if all women share this attitude deep inside, wouldn’t this be the cause of male insecurity?

    Nice blog btw. I will be following it 😉

    • Anonymous,
      Thanks for reading the article and leaving a comment. The answer to your questions was embedded in your comment without you realizing it.

      You said you are not from the Middle East. Well, if you were a woman from the M.E., you will understand exactly what my point is.

    • George

      The first couple paragraphs perhaps paint the ME picture pretty good. I am not from the ME either, but lived there long enough to say that the writer is gentle about her comments about men there–NOT ALL men, of course are that way.

  5. Khalda

    This article strongly reflects deep grievances!!

    No doubt, the position of women in the Middle East is precarious. However, this dire situation is perpetually augmented by the society at large; both men and women. It is with utter sadness that I admit that this prevalent culture is the by product of the up bringing process; which is primarily the prerogative of the woman/mother!

    Genuinely, I believe that women should liberate themselves in the first place. They should work hard on cultivating their self esteem, self confidence and their worth as human beings. Then, and only then, would they be able to inculcate such true values within their children, both boys and girls.

    • Thanks Khalda for visiting the blog and leaving your comment. I agree that the way men are brought up by their mothers play a big role, but also the culture, environment and the society contribute to that as well.

      It is a very vicious cycle though because women who was abused (mentally, physically, emotionally) no other way to raise up their kids.

      I agree that women have to liberate themselves by truly believing first that they are equal peers and second by working hard to achieve their rights.

  6. Dalia Khamis

    Great article Alexandra and i like the pic too

    totally agree with you ,societies in which women is more covered men have the concept that this creature is weak, inferior and they have the right for harrassement opposite to what religion told us that the benefit for covering is women superiority.
    the fact is that mother grow up their male children with this perception ; that unveiled women deserve to be treated in unrespectable manner by default.

  7. Jamal

    I am a bit curious as to why you chose the phrase “Middle Eastern” men. Do you mean all men in the Middle East, including Israeli men who are also, technically Middle Eastern? Or do you just mean the “Arab” Middle Eastern men (including the Christians of the Middle East) ? Or is “Middle Eastern” simply a euphemism for “Muslim” ?

    Could you please clarify?
    Thanks

    • Jamal,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Your observation is definitely food for thought.

      What do you think I meant? Hint: Geographical locations were women have a long way to achieve their basic rights.

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